Blog Post #7 of the Holidays with Jesus Series of Books
Book #1: Thanksgiving to Christmas
Written: 03 December 2009, Thursday
Posted: 04 December 2009, Friday
THE CURSE OF THE HOLIDAYS
Today, we were supposed to start to go through each of the people listed in Matthew 1 of Christ’s lineage. However, I felt led to address another subject before we start that study. It’s about the curse of the holidays and with Thanksgiving and Christmas in particular. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s the expectations we set which aren’t met and we become disappointed by them and we curse our families and swear off the holiday because our expectations weren’t met.
Another curse is that if it’s going to go wrong, it will usually go wrong now. Hence, it’s even more important to take a look at our expectations so that when things go wrong, we’re less disappointed and are more apt to stand strong in spite of the circumstances. (Also, see my extra yesterday’s blog where I talk about the difference between happiness and joy. Knowing the difference can help us to have more appropriate expectations of the holidays.)
EXAMPLES OF THE CURSE IN MY LIFE
First, my husband and I have been in the process of buying a new vehicle. Everything that could go wrong has. We’re going to get the vehicle, and I have it in my possession, but we haven’t actually signed on the dotted line at the dealership because of several stupid technicalities. It’s enough to drive everyone crazy. However, all parties involved between the dealership, the financial institution, and my husband and I have been patient and have had steady emotions. We’ve been working together and not against one another. This is a huge positive in a negative situation. And trust me, I had to look HARD for this silver-lining. But, things are still sketchy and could be quite irritating.
Second, yesterday was a day of bad news, bad situations, and things which threatened to get me down. Between the car-buying stress, taking my dog (Zack Beagle) to the vet and having to watch him be tortured getting bloodwork because his blood refused to go into the vial… And, then getting some scary news about the results… Then, getting bad news that when my husband and I have to temporarily move to Las Vegas because of his work from January to May originally has now been moved to July. We’ll be in temporary living, with a carload of stuff only, and will bring Zack Beagle and our orange Tabby, Sinan. What that means is I’ll see my husband far less for longer now. Not looking forward to that, but it is what it is and I will make the best of the situation.
EXAMINATION OF EXPECTATIONS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
In other words, we set ourselves up to fail on holidays because of inappropriate or unrealistic expectations. We need to examine our holiday expectations. Even if we love the holidays and think they’re perfect in every way, it’s still important for us to take the time to examine them.
Grab your journal/notebook, a pen, and your favorite drink. Then, let’s ask ourselves some questions and answer them in our own hand.
Does Christmas bring pain in your life? Why?
Does just the term ‘Christmas’ make you want to put your hand over your ears and start to run as fast as you can away from it? Why?
Does Christmas remind you of what you don’t have or have lost?
Do you feel angry, sad, stressed, frustrated, disappointed, or any other negative emotion when you think of Christmas? Why? Take some time to answer this question. Ideally, you would write an entire page about this subject. At least, write 8 sentences, please.
What was your worst Christmas ever and why (it can be several)? Take some time with this one as well. Ideally, you would write a page for each occurrence. However, at least do 4 sentences each.
What was your best Christmas ever and why (it can be several)? Take some time with this one as well. Ideally, you would write a page for each occurrence. However, at least do 6 sentences each.
Hang in there.
If the above questions stirred up the negative in you, please, bear with me. I’m going to help you see Christmas differently. However, you’ll need to unfortunately answer more questions below which might add to your pain. Stick it out, please. It will pay off. Go through this and answer the questions in spite of how you want to ignore them because they hurt. Sometimes, we need to go through the pain for a few minutes in order to heal. Furthermore, we need to look and see from time to time why we are hurt by things, even when we think we know why, because the reasons might change.
Also, if you need to set this to the side for a few minutes, do. Take a short break, but finish it in one day. If you wait any longer than that, you might not ever do so and if it takes longer, you won’t get as much out of this exercise.
Please define Christmas.
What does Christmas mean to you, good or bad, and why? Write a minimum of 8 sentences.
How much money do you spend on Christmas?
What traditions do you have?
What do you want out of Christmas?
What do you want out of others for Christmas?
I WANT TO SEE CHRISTMAS THROUGH GOD’S EYES—NOT MINE
Everything from yesterday in my life could make me not want Christmas to come around. Everything could make me a Scrooge. However, I refuse to go there. I’m making an active choice to focus on what really matters and what is really important. Here’s why:
What is Christmas really about? It’s about Jesus. It’s not about family. It’s not about gifts. It’s not about giving. That is what Christmas has become, nonetheless, and is the reason why we have unrealistic and inappropriate expectations of the holiday. The original meaning of Christmas was to celebrate Christ’s birth.
Please don’t hate me for saying what I just did. I’m sorry if it struck a nerve.
However, as Christians, this is a fact. If we let it be anything other than about Jesus, we’ve missed the entire point and His birth, crucifixion, and resurrection were for NOTHING. We will miss that Christmas is about the gift HE gave us—heaven. Living forever with God. No more pain. No more disappointments.
If we don’t celebrate the TRUTH of Christmas, we will be disappointed most Christmases. We will also be stressed most Christmases and might even drive other’s a little crazy because of our lack of realization of the truth of Christmas.
Every day, we need to ACTIVELY, INTENTIONALLY choose to remember the reason of Christmas. We need to see Christmas through God’s eyes and not our own.
Then, we can give gifts—as long as we don’t stress ourselves or our finances. If it comes down to this, or we think we HAVE to give gifts, we’ve missed the point.
If we think we HAVE to give or volunteer, we’ve missed the point.
If we have to force our families to get together, we’ve missed the point.
Can’t Christmas be a time to just be together as a family and enjoy one another? Can’t we just be a family? Isn’t that enough? If you have kids, I understand gifts for them, that’s different. Please don’t misunderstand me. But, we can use it as an opportunity to teach them about the reason for Christmas—every day in December from the first to the thirty-first. Not just a quick one-time read through of the Christmas story.
Can’t we simplify Christmas? Can’t we make it more enjoyable and never stressful in the least? We could choose this approach. Yet, most of us choose not to take this approach--why? (Please answer all those questions.)
Can’t we individually celebrate Jesus’ birth? (Please answer question.)
Choose to make Christmas a time to focus first on Jesus, to enjoy our family, to give to charity rather than on gifts (except for children), and rejuvenate in the knowledge that we’re reborn because of Christ’s birth and our acceptance of Him?
MORE REFLECTIVE QUESTIONS
What does Christ’s birth mean to you?
How do you focus on Jesus?
How do you keep Jesus front and center in your life from Thanksgiving to Christmas?
What can you eliminate in your life to focus on Christ rather than on gifts, spending, giving more than you have to give (emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and financially)?
Christmas is about Jesus. It’s not about us. It’s not about our families. It’s about Jesus.
Let’s see Christmas through God’s eyes and kill the curses of Christmas.
What are your thoughts?
By Stacy Duplease
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